Shakti's Guide to Good, Great, and Amazing Sex

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

How to learn to enjoy sex

For most people reading this blog, this is going to be an irrelevant question. But I was reminded today that it's a serious problem for some people whose bodies and minds have never quite gotten synched up to experience sex as something pleasurable.

The most common causes of 'sexual anhedonia' (lack of pleasure) are drugs and medications, hormonal problems, depression, dysthymia (a form of chronic depression), and religious repression. These require major lifestyle changes and/or serious medical or psychological treatment.

But what about the mysterious cases of anhedonia that don't seem to be related to any of these causes?

The Art of the Handjob

I'm continuing to collect things I wrote in other places that are relevant here. In this case, I was asked to explain what I mean by "giving a great handjob." (I'm going to describe giving one to a man, but the setup is similar and there's a link at the end to more detailed instructions for women.)

For starters, I strongly recommend three things:

Bad, good, and magnificent sex

This is another in a collection of pieces that I've written elsewhere and wanted to include in this blog. I wrote it in answer to a deceptively simple sounding question:

What is the difference between bad sex, good sex, and great sex?

Bad sex is easy. It's sex that leaves one or both people feeling bad: bored, uninvolved, hurt, used, abused, violated, shamed, humiliated, neglected, ignored, and/or unsatisfied.

Describing good or great sex is a lot harder, and it might be a good idea to divide it into two kinds, because they use different biochemical pathways in the body and brain and they feel so different:

The Evolution of the Clitoris

In my last post, I talked about an impressive online program at OMGyes.com that teaches users a wide variety of techniques for using the fingers to stimulate the clitoris, get a woman aroused, and help her have an orgasm.  Knowing how to do this is important for those of us with clits and for those who love us because so many women – over 70% according to many studies – are unable to have an orgasm from normal penetrative sex alone, without any direct or indirect stimulation of the clit.

But this raises the obvious question:  why is that true?  If the purpose of the clit is to make sex pleasurable and lead to orgasms, why isn't the clit positioned so that it is directly stimulated during normal, penetrative, penis-in-vagina (PiV) sex?

OMG Yes!!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.