Sunday, August 31, 2014

Woman on top - sex tips in the "Cowgirl" position

I love being on top.  I mention it often on this blog and it's pretty close to a standard after the yab-yum stage during tantra, but I also love it for regular sex.  My partner and I tend to begin that way more often than not.  But after getting several private questions and a plaintive one on Quora, I've begun to realize that a fair number of women are scared to try it, so I thought I would share some tips.

This was the Quora question:

How do you support yourself as a woman when you are on top during sex? Do you move up and down or do you rock back and forth? Are you sitting completely upright?  Besides being shy about "being on top," I don't really know the logistics of how to do it.  Any tips?

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The most intense orgasm for women

This was a question on Quora, so I thought I would share my answer here, too.  Some of it will be redundant for those of you who have read through this blog from the start, but it still may be fun to see it summed up in one place!  :)

https://www.quora.com/Orgasms/What-is-the-most-intense-orgasm-a-woman-can-have/answer/Shakti-Amarantha

What is the most intense orgasm a woman can have?

I've discussed this question at length with many women and their spouses/long-term partners.  All are very experienced with tantric sex, and all of the women have at least occasionally experienced real monster orgasms.

The first observation, and this was unanimous, is that "most intense" does not equal "best."  This is partly because, as another Quoran pointed out, you hit a circuit breaker when things get to the max intensity level and then you miss what comes after.  Around a dozen of the women I talked to have blacked out at least once during an orgasm.  Several reported feeling woozy or nauseous afterward and none of them thought passing out was fun.  It made all of them a little bit cautious about pushing for a repeat.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Aunt Shakti's Action Plan for Proactive Modern Virgins

In my last post we talked abut women and when they had their first orgasms, and we followed the story of a young woman who had been sexually active for most of a year and was still seeking her first one.  As a follow-up to that, an old friend has been pushing me to add an article I first posted to Quora about how virgins can make their first time better and less painful.
Listen, I know this isn't strictly about tantra, but I bet there are a lot of girls and young women out there reading things like this on the web who have NEVER been with a guy. Or they've just done oral and stuff, and they're on the verge and they're kinda excited and kinda scared and NOBODY is helping them get ready.
My first time was horrible.  It was so painful and bloody that I pushed him off and made him stop.  It was about as bad as it could be for both of us. The article you just posted on Quora really needs to be out there so people can stumble across it in as many places as possible.  It's a really great guide to getting ready, and I think you should at least think about putting it on your website.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Mailbag #4: First Orgasms, and How Women Vary

I've gotten a fair number of messages over the last six months from people who are struggling with the mysteries of the female orgasm.  This one showed up in early May:
Hi Shakti, my girlfriend & I came across your blog a couple of months ago and we'd really like to start learning tantra, but we've been trying to follow your advice to get "the basics" worked out first. The biggest problem is that Sara* doesn't seem to be able to have an orgasm no matter what we do. She says she enjoys having sex with me. She says she loves doing it & she loves making me come. She acts horny & rubs up against me to distract from TV or studying or the computer when she wants to do it. She takes the intiative a lot, maybe even more than I do, but I know it's bugging her that there's this other experience women are supposed to have & she can't do it.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Mailbag #3: Single Women/Meditation

Two of the letters about solo Tantra were from women, and both asked about vibrators.  I think I could have done a better, more complete job of answering them (sorry!), so I’ve rewritten and expanded on my answer for posting here:

I'm considered something of a radical pro-vibrator heretic in some circles because I refuse to condemn the use of vibrators during Tantric sex.  However, I do agree that it is a bad idea for women to use a vibrator during solo sex any more than absolutely necessary.  Even if you have never managed to give yourself an orgasm manually, I urge you to use your hands and go as slowly as you can for as long as you can.  Your goal should be to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out the arousal phase as long as possible.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Mailbag #2: Tantra for Singles

One of the most common questions I have received from readers is from people who are currently single and want to get ready to learn Tantra with a partner.  Each time, I have added things to what has become my standard response, but I think this now covers most of the essentials:

Hi, ____.

I’m not sure how much help I can be, but I’ll try to answer any questions you have. If you’ve read the blog from the beginning, you know it’s a pretty complete course on learning Tantra, but it’s also very oriented toward couples. That's what I know, and it's what the people I interviewed know best.  

However, I did ask everyone I talked to about their experiences with things like meditation, sex, and orgasms before they learned Tantra, so I can say a bit about some things you can do now that will make the whole learning process easier when you do have a partner.

The best things single people can do to get ready to learn Tantra are: 

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Mailbag #1: Tantra Videos / Stoned Tantra

I mentioned last time that I’ve been answering emails individually, but that some of the exchanges are worth sharing, so with due attention to privacy, here are some of the more interesting bits.

Tantra Video Links

This first one is a response from Anna that I’ve already quoted in reply to a reader’s question.  New readers who bother to look at comments will see it, but the readers who have been following the blog for a while won’t, so I’m going to insert the whole exchange here for them.

Pisces Flower had this question: 
In the last several years I have done a short version of the lingam message for my husband before I knew what it was (as much for him as me!) I did a couple of massages based on the information I had read here and a couple other sites but it wasn't... quite right. I finally found a tasteful video and that helped but I've only been able to find the one. I found it helpful but not so much for my husband in regards to the yoni message. I was wondering if you could send or post the website Anna and Hans found with the hour-long videos that helped them?