[fourth of five posts on male multiple orgasms, starting here]
I mentioned foreshocks and aftershocks in an earlier post. An aftershock can be a second ejaculation, but that’s rare. It’s almost always a dry or mostly dry orgasm that can occur with continued stimulation of the penis in the aftermath of an ejaculatory orgasm.
This can occasionally happen during vaginal sex if the penis stays firm enough to support additional thrusting and, especially, if the woman is having a powerful continuous orgasm with intense contractions and a lot of vocalization and pelvic movement. The desire to help her continue her orgasm is often the motivation for continued thrusting even as the penis gets softer, and the exchange of reinforcing signals between the two partners can often provide a great deal of non-physical stimulation, particularly with a couple who are deeply connected and aware of each other’s reactions and sensations.
Aftershocks and Lingam MassageAftershocks happen more often during lingam massage. In fact, this is probably the most common circumstance for Tantric males to experience them, since their partners can easily learn how to effectively stimulate the penis even as it grows softer.
Some men report that aftershocks sometimes or often feel as if they are straining to push out the very last drop of semen. That is, they have urethral contractions even though there is little or no semen left to expel. This is especially likely to happen if the man tries unsuccessfully to use a Kegel clench to prevent ejaculation, in which case at least some semen may be retained, often enough to trigger the additional orgasm(s).
However, it is worth paying special attention to any aftershocks that happen without any feeling of ejaculatory pumping. This is a pure non-ejaculatory orgasm (NEO), and learning what triggers it and what it feels like can be helpful in learning to trigger a NEO intentionally before having an EO.
A Magic Ring?If you try to experience an aftershock NEO and don’t succeed, you might want to cautiously experiment with a “cock ring.” This is a kind of ring or strap designed to be placed around the base of the penis. It should be just firm enough and tight enough to keep the blood from flowing out of the penis after ejaculation, but not so tight that it prevents the blood from flowing into the penis in the first place, or so tight that it prevents the semen from being ejaculated. The ring will delay the loss of your erection for a minute or two after ejaculation and give you a much better chance at a second or third orgasm.
Be careful! If the ring is so tight that it completely blocks ejaculation, it could seriously damage your urethra! Younger men who normally expel a lot of semen with a lot of force need to be especially cautious here. Start with a ring or strap that is so loose you don’t think it will do any good, and gradually work down to one that is adequate. Also, stretchy rings and straps with snaps are safer and easier to get off than metal or hard plastic.
ForeshocksForeshocks are more complicated. Often, men who experience a foreshock are using the Kegel clench to hold off ejaculation. They succeed, but unless their partner immediately backs off on the level of stimulation, they almost immediately have another orgasm. If they do this several times, each one will usually be more intense, until they can’t block the ejaculation or don’t choose to block it, and they finish the series normally.
When men do this during lingam massage, their partners are in a position to observe any emissions, and they all agree that even successful Kegel clamping sometimes or often results in a bit of semen being released, though not forcefully expelled, each time. The full orgasm that follows then has less semen to expel. This may explain why some men, especially younger men, find a rapid sequence of several NEOs and a full EO to be enjoyable, but individually less intense than a single orgasm with ejaculation.
However, this is not the only situation in which foreshocks occur. Some men experience foreshocks naturally after a very prolonged arousal period. If my partner and I extend his lingam massage for more than around 30 minutes, he can have as many as three or four foreshocks of gradually increasing intensity before having a massively intense full-body orgasm. These foreshocks do not require blocking an ejaculation and do not involve any loss of semen.
This seems to be the closest that most men can come to experiencing what women experience from multiple orgasms, particularly if the main ejaculatory orgasm is followed by several aftershocks as well, which is quite common. (See Alan’s description here.) Unfortunately, I don’t know of any way to learn to do this except for what I have already described for learning Tantra with your partner. As you get really good at extending the arousal pattern, this may happen … or it may not.
Age and Natural Dry OrgasmsOr it may not happen for years, and then start happening as you get older. I don’t know whether the connection is with age, per se, or years of experience with Tantra, or some combination of both, but in my very non-random sample it seems to be more common among men older than 40, and all three of the men I interviewed who were older than 60 reported that it happened at least occasionally for them.
There’s another connection with aging. These three men (aged 63, 65, and 70) all had at least some experience with “natural” NEOs that were not followed by an EO. These were not intentional NEOs. In fact, these men often didn’t realize that they were having a “dry” orgasm until their partners commented on the lack of semen during the cleanup afterward, and none of them felt unsatisfied or unfinished as a result. But these natural NEOs do seem to be related to how much time has passed since a previous ejaculation. All of the men thought that this is more likely to happen when an orgasm occurs before there has been time for the body to produce enough semen for another ejaculation.
Semen production naturally falls off with age, and a man whose normal refractory period is measured in days may still be able to have an orgasm before that (with or without an erection). If so, he may simply be firing blanks, with the paradoxical effect that this allows him to either retain his erection or recover it quite soon, without waiting days again.
ED drugs (especially the injectables) greatly increase the likelihood that this will happen, by enabling the older man to have a full erection much sooner after a previous ejaculation, and therefore encouraging him to have an orgasm without enough semen for another ejaculation.
One advantage of the reduction in the volume of semen with age is that older men are less likely to say that NEOs are less enjoyable than EOs. Young men usually report getting a lot of pleasure from the large pulse of semen being forcefully expelled during ejaculation, and they miss this during a NEO. Over time, however, the volume of semen and the force of ejaculation both decline, so ejaculation becomes a less important part of the overall pleasure in the act.
At the same time, older men seem to be more likely to report increased pleasure from the tactile stimulation of the penis, probably because they usually take longer to become aroused and take longer to reach orgasm, so there is simply longer for more intense sensations to build up. While the two may roughly balance out for normal orgasms, the balance shifts toward greater pleasure (or less of a reduction in pleasure) from NEOs as men get older.
Dry Orgasms and Younger MenThis leads to the possibility that even much younger men can also have NEOs by pushing the pace and, indeed, young men who have a lot of orgasms in a very short period may also report experiencing “dry” orgasms.
Take the case one of my interviewees described. When he was 17, his normal refractory period was around 5 to 10 minutes. He and his girlfriend had sex five times in a little over an hour. Each time he ejaculated, he lost his erection and he and his partner switched to oral sex, first for her and then for him, and then back to vaginal sex as he recovered. Each time, it took longer for him to reach orgasm.
After four ejaculations and four recovery intervals, the fifth episode of vaginal sex went on so long that his girlfriend got sore. She switched back to oral sex to bring him to completion. This orgasm was strong, but entirely non-ejaculatory, and this time he did not lose his erection. He wanted to continue, but his girlfriend refused. After she left, he tried to masturbate to completion and finally had another dry orgasm. Afraid that he was doing harm to himself, he then stopped, and was relieved to find everything back in working order again the next day.
As these events indicate, this can work, but it isn’t the most practical or useful way to become multi-orgasmic. Nevertheless, it does suggest that, especially for men who are long out of their teens, it may be easier to experience an NEO for the first time by deliberately practicing masturbation exercises right after an extended sexual encounter.
If you are practicing the Kegel clenches described in my next post, the best time to do it may be immediately after sex, especially Tantric sex. Just experiencing an NEO can be a big help in learning how to block ejaculation, because it teaches you what it feels like to have on orgasm without the ejaculation, so you know what you’re aiming for.