Sunday, November 17, 2013

Using Kegels to Create NEOs

[this is the last of five posts on male multiple orgasms, starting here]   

Let’s take a second or two to review six ways to delay an orgasm:
  • The Squeeze:  Squeeze the blood out of the head of the penis for 30 seconds.
  • The Tug:  When the cremaster muscle pulls the testicles up against the base of the penis, tug the scrotum and testicles down again and away from the penis.
  • The Push:  Like pushing out a bowel movement, but more gently.
  • The Spread:  Spread your legs very wide (like doing the splits).
  • The Clench:  Clamp your PC (Kegel) muscles as hard as you can for 15-30 seconds.
  • The Poke:  Use the tips of your fingers to press hard on the spot in the middle of the perineum where you can feel a small depression.  (NOT recommended!)
I included the Poke only because it is often described by other people, but it often results in retrograde ejaculation – semen going backward into the bladder – and it can damage the man’s reproductive system, so I definitely do not recommend it.  Furthermore, it’s hard to hit the spot exactly right, and even when it does work, a retrograde ejaculation is an ejaculation.  It doesn’t matter where the semen goes – it still leads to a normal loss of erection, so it does no good in terms of creating multiple orgasms.

The squeeze is the best known and most reliable, but any of the first five can be effective if you start early enough, although results definitely can vary.  But the fifth one is special, because if you get the timing exactly right, you can stop just the ejaculation, but not the orgasm.

Kegel Clenches

This is the method described in all of the “how to” manuals. Both of the books I recommended here follow the same basic format and use the same basic terminology:

“Kegel clamps” or “Kegel clenches” involve holding a hard squeeze of the PC muscles for at least 15 seconds (my partner and others say you may need 30+ seconds).

Arousal is measured from 1 (no arousal) to 10 (ejaculation in progress) in this system, with 9.9 being the “point of no return.” Level 4 is often cited as the level corresponding to a full erection, but that may be closer to 5 or even 6 for older men. There are no other absolutes, so the idea is to establish your own set of relative standards that you can recognize consistently. Your level 7 might be different from another guy’s level 7, but as long as you can consistently hit the same level of arousal and know it’s your “7”, that’s all that counts.

“Edging” is the process of reaching a targeted level of arousal and then backing off, letting time, immobility, and/or one of the interruption techniques (scrotum tug, squeeze, push out, or Kegel block) bring the level of arousal down.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

The learning process starts with doing Kegel exercises until you can hold a tight Kegel clamp for the required time – the books mostly say 15 seconds, but the guys I’ve talked to say that it really helps if you can hold it for twice that. While you are doing your Kegel exercises, you should also be practicing a “soft” masturbation style that mimics a good lingam massage.  Include your inner thighs, scrotum, and perineum, and change your stroke area and pattern often.

Next, practice “edging” up to, and part way down from, various levels of arousal. Both of the books I recommended lay out an elaborate sequence of activities, and I’m in no position to judge whether the exact sequence really matters, but it looks to me like you could pick target levels almost at random. The point is that once you pick one, you should practice hitting it and backing off, over and over again, until you can do it fairly accurately every time.

Once you can consistently hit targets from roughly 5 through 9, practice hitting successive levels, like 7.5, 8, 8.5, 9, and eventually 9.5. After you hit one level, do a 15-30 second Kegel clamp and back off a level or two and then edge up to the next half-level. Try not to go over the top. As you get better at it, try to do the same thing for levels 9.2, 9.4, 9.5, 9.6, 9.7, and eventually 9.8.

If (actually, when) you goof and get to 9.9 by mistake, immediately do your longest and hardest Kegel clamp. At first, you will almost certainly clench too late. You will still feel the orgasm, either full strength or reduced, and clenching will hold back the ejaculation, but all of the semen will just dribble out after you unclench. Eventually, you’ll hit it just right and have an orgasm with only a little bit of semen dribbling out afterward, or none at all, and you won’t lose your erection. When that happens the first time, immediately edge up to a high 9 level and try to do the same thing again.

Precision and Timing

Learning to do this accurately can take months if you do it regularly, or years if you just practice it occasionally. When you are just starting out, you’ll have no idea what the numbers mean. Over time, you’ll develop a clearer and clearer sense of where you are on your own arousal curve. As you gain really precise control in the level 9+ area, you will goof and hit 9.9 less and less often, and when you do, you’ll be able to block the ejaculation more reliably.

The key is precise timing, which depends on an incredibly precise sense of the difference between 9.8 and 9.9. The authors of these books call 9.9 “the point of no return,” but in studies using brain imaging, it’s clear that what they call “9.9” is actually the onset in the brain of the orgasm itself. When a subject has an orgasm in a brain scanner, the entire brain lights up. In fact, an orgasm looks remarkably like an epileptic seizure, a wild electrical storm that involves almost every part of the brain, and this brainstorm starts to rage across the brain a couple of seconds before any detectable sign of the start of the ejaculation.

By comparison, an ejaculation without orgasm (provoked, for example, by prostate massage on a subject with a severed spinal cord), involves just a few bits of the sympathetic nervous system. Neurologically, it’s a much simpler, involuntary process that takes place mostly at the base of the spine.

Although there are usually a couple of seconds between the onset of an orgasm and the onset of ejaculation, the men who have learned how to do this agree that the difference between “too soon” and “too late” can be as little as a second, or even half a second, right at the very start of the orgasm. In the language of these books, you have to catch the exact moment of the transition between 9.8 and 9.9.

If you wait until the orgasm feels inevitable, it’s too late.

If you jump the gun and clamp down too early, still hold the clench for as long as you can. You’ll block the orgasm as well as the ejaculation, but at least then you can try again in a minute or two.

What I’ve described here is the solo version, assuming (for simplicity) that you’re going to be using masturbation for all the exercises. However, both books actually give two versions of every exercise, one solo and one with a partner, and suggest that you can do either one. The consensus of my team of advisors is that it’s actually easier if you can do some of each. A few did it all solo, but most said they did anywhere from 65% to 95% of the work solo, and had their partners’ help for the rest.

Making the Decision

I’ve described this process mainly so you can get a sense of whether you actually want to commit to doing it. Although you could probably figure out how to do it from my description, I think it would be a lot easier with a more complete guide. If you actually decide to learn how to do this, I recommend buying at least one of these books.

Don’t expect instant or easy results, and don’t back yourself into any corners where you’re going to look or feel like a failure if you give it a try and decide it’s not for you. Everything you learn along the way, especially learning to be more aware of your own orgasmic curve and to have more precise control over your level of arousal, will be directly helpful during Tantra, so it will not be wasted effort.

Good luck!

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